How to Deal with Failure

By Eduardo Pilapil Jr.

"My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure.” - Abraham Lincoln

Failure can either break us or make us. Those broken by it are haunted by unpleasant memories. These memories are like shadows that lurk in front, behind, beside, beneath and above.


It is also a cage that traps the mind, preventing it to entertain possibilities of freedom and success. They are convinced that they cannot do it; therefore, they will not try.

For those that could not be broken by it are those who became made “men.” Defeat to them is not a ghost, but a friend who taught them well. It is also a stepping stone to wisdom.

These men and women are convinced that true defeat only happens when one gives up.

History has been kind to President Abraham Lincoln. He has been painted as probably the greatest president of the United States of America.

It is the good thing that history also recorded his letdowns. It reflects his frail humanity but also showed his attitude of never giving up.

These "humps" could not stop him, he kept moving forward. The following is a short list of his ups and downs and ups.


1831 – Not successful in business

1832 – Defeated for legislature

1833 – Again crashed in business

1834 – Elected to legislature

1835 – Sweetheart died

1836 – Had a nervous breakdown

1838 – Defeated for speaker

1840 – Defeated for elector

1843 – Defeated for Congress

1846 – Elected for Congress

1848 – Defeated for Congress

1855 – Defeated for Senate

1856 – Defeated for Vice-President

1858 – Defeated for Senate

1860 – ELECTED PRESIDENT

He was defeated more times than he won, but that did not mean that the defeats were permanent. Remember, that they become permanent only if we stop trying.

I believe the only real failure is the failure to move on.

Brix, a friend of mine, narrated his adventure in climbing Pico de Loro, a mountain that spans parts of Cavite and Batangas, south of Metro Manila, Philippines.

He said that he was exhausted and was about to give up.

He told the guide that he wanted to go down. But the guide said that he was only a few more steps to the peak. What a waste of effort if he gave up.

But his efforts were rewarded by the view and by the lesson. Now he can’t stop talking about the experience. His blog site reflects it.

A breakthrough may just be a few steps away. What a pity for those of us who would stop moving on. As far as I am concerned, the only way to deal with failure is to learn from it and move on.

The end result for Mr. Lincoln was that he became president and through his influence, was able to defend the constitution by winning the civil war, and was able to free slaves in certain states through the Emancipation Proclamation.

He even tried to give voting rights to the blacks for which he was assassinated. He has been long gone yet he is remembered dearly by all who heard about his story. His very name is a legacy of success!

What would be your end result? You may not know everything but you can determine your attitude. You can either allow it to break you or allow it to make you. Your call!